Listen
The podcast · 130 episodes

Adoption conversations, centered on adoptee voices.

Since 2021, Lanette and Shaun Nelson have been interviewing adoptees, birth parents, adoptive families and researchers to learn what openness really looks like, and how to do it well.

Newest episode · Jun 15, 2026EP. 130

Finding Home: Identity, Reunion, and the Complexity of Adoption with Jay Barbanel

In this conversation, Shaun sits down with adoptee and author Jay Barbanel to explore the complexities of identity, belonging, and healing through adoption.

Play episode

Where would you like to start?

Everyone is welcome here. Wherever you sit in the adoption constellation, we hope you’ll start by listening to adoptees.

I’m an adoptee

Adoptees of every age on identity, search, reunion and belonging.

I’m a birth parent

Birth parents share their stories, and what child-centered openness can look like.

I’m an adoptive or hopeful parent

What openness asks of you, why it matters for your child, and how to keep it going.

I work with families

Research, language and practice for social workers, therapists and agencies.

Openness 101

Open adoption is more than visits.

Openness has two sides, and adoptees need both. You can’t always control contact. You can always keep the conversation open.

1 · StructuralContactNames, letters and photos, calls, visits and holidays with birth family.
2 · CommunicativeConversationQuestions welcome, birth family spoken of with respect, room for grief.
Read the Openness 101 guide →
Communicative openness is even more clearly related to outcomes.
Prof. Abbie GoldbergAdoption researcher, Clark UniversityEP. 85

In their words

“Adoption is a lifelong journey. It ebbs and it flows.”
Jori · adoptee & birth mom · Ep. 95
“The adoption story belongs to the child, not to you.”
Allison Olson · adoptee & adoptive mom · Ep. 80
“Don’t think that you’re broken or any less of a person because you’re hurting.”
Alexa · birth mother · Ep. 22
The book

The Openness Guide for Adoptive Parents

Lanette wrote the book she wished we’d had when we adopted our first child: the roles you play beyond “mom” or “dad,” the honest questions to work through, and how to keep openness centered on your child. Grounded in the voices of adoptees and birth parents. All proceeds from the book go right back into the podcast.

Get it on AmazonPaperback & Kindle
The Openness Guide for Adoptive Parents
What You Should Know About Open Adoption
Lanette J. Nelson

Never miss a conversation

Follow the show for new episodes, and join us on Instagram for daily quotes and stories from our guests.