Five Teenage Adoptee Perspectives

0:00Welcome to this special teen interview episode on the Open Adoption Project. I'm the oldest Nelson kid and I'm your host. Even though I'm not a teenager yet, I'm almost one. So, here I am. Watch out mom and dad. I'm almost a teenager in less than three years. Today, I'll be talking to five teenagers who are all adopted. First, I'll talk with Summer.

0:31And then, Michelle. And then, I'll talk to McCoy. After McCoy, we'll hear from James. Lastly, I'll talk with Gracie. Music I am here now with our first interview. Hi Summer. Can you introduce yourself? My name is Summer and I'm 14 years old. What are some of your favorite things? My favorite color is purple and I love the Hunger Games series.

1:03I love to travel and I really want to go to Europe. Me too. I really want to go to France. Can you tell me about your family? I have a mom and a dad and I have two younger siblings. Two younger brothers. We're all adopted. And we love to play sports. Cool. I really love soccer. Can you share a little bit about your adoption story? My birth mom, Deanne, got pregnant in her twenties.

1:36And she already had a son. But after praying about it, she decided that she really wanted me to have a mom and a dad. And so she placed me for adoption. She was looking at families through an agency. And she couldn't find one and so she gave up for a little while. And then her mom found one and was asking her about it. And she knew that was the one. And I was due two weeks later.

2:06And my parents got to meet her a week before I was born. And she took me home the night I was born and just got to spend some time with me. And since then, she didn't know she wanted to have an open adoption. But she decided she did. And we see her every once in a while. And now that I'm older, I can spend time alone with her and hang out with her. What kind of things have you done together?

2:37We've gotten our nails done and we just like to hang out. And she'll come to my soccer games and it's really fun to see her. Have you met more of your birth mother's family? Yes. I've met her parents and some of her siblings. Her parents come to my house and eat dinner and we get to see them. What does open adoption mean to you? It means that I can have a relationship with my birth parents and their parents and their family members.

3:09And I can learn more about where I came from, like get my questions answered. How do you feel about being adopted? It doesn't bother me that I'm adopted. It's been really nice to get to meet other people through that. There's been times in my life where people have made comments that have made me just feel like no one really understands adoption. And so that's sometimes hard.

3:39My parents do a really good job of teaching me about it and talking to me about it. And I think it really helps that I get to see my birth mom a lot. What's the best part about being adopted? I have some friends who we wouldn't have met if it weren't for adoption. And I've had a lot of friendships and relationships that have been created because of adoption.

4:09What do you wish people knew about adoption? I think a lot of people think adoption is where the birth mom had an unexpected pregnancy and she just doesn't want the baby or can't take care of the baby. So she just gives the baby away. But in a lot of cases, the birth mom does love the baby and wants to keep the baby. And I wish people knew that the birth mom can still love their child. And it's a really big sacrifice to give your baby up.

4:43A lot of people think that you have to be from a different country or from a foster home or something like that. But you can be from anywhere. Do you have any advice for some other kids or teenagers who were adopted? I actually struggled around fourth, fifth, and sixth grade with my adoption a little bit. Because when you're a kid, you want to be like everyone else and you don't want to stand out.

5:17And I had some of my friends ask questions like, oh, do you know your real mom? Or like, do you wish you lived with your real mom? And I think something that can help those other people who are adopted is just learning that they just aren't educated with adoption and that they don't know what they're saying. And you can educate them and help them understand. But what they're saying, you shouldn't let that affect you because they don't know and they haven't experienced it.

5:52That's great advice. Thanks a lot for talking to me, Summer. Our next guest will be Michelle. She will talk about being adopted from Ecuador when she was my age. My name is Michelle. I'm 16 years old. Hi, Michelle. I am so excited to talk to you today. What are some of your favorite things?

6:23My favorite book is The Hunger Games. My favorite movie is The Great Showman. My favorite color is yellow. Where do you want to travel to? A place that I want to travel is where I was born in Ecuador. Wow, so you were born in Ecuador. That's so cool. Can you tell us about your family? I have four siblings. I have a mom and dad. They're a really nice family. I have a really nice...

6:56They support me no matter what I need with. They love each one of our siblings. They care. They help us through our things. And they're a happy family. So can you share a little bit about your adoption story? So I was adopted from Ecuador. They adopted me when I was 11 years old. The first time I didn't want to get adopted, but it was fine for the second time.

7:27It was hard to choose, but now I'm happy to be adopted with this nice family I have and nice house and my siblings. Why was it hard for you to choose if you wanted to be adopted? Because I didn't know if I wanted to stay in Ecuador or be here in the United States. That sounds like a hard choice. What was the hardest part about leaving Ecuador?

7:57Because I had this close friend that was really close. She supported me as well. She loved me and I loved her back too. She was always there by my side. Most people would just choose to get adopted. I had a ton of friends and I loved the little kids, being with the little kids, just playing with them. Especially the babies. The babies were so cute. I just miss them a lot. What do you know about your birth family? I don't know much about my birth parents at all, but if I knew them, I'd be so happy to meet them and tell them how much it's nice to meet them.

8:43It would just be so cool if I had siblings. I moved to a lot of places, so I want to know where I was from as well. That would be awesome. I was in the open age, so they didn't know and they didn't give much information about it. So I don't know anything. Would you like to know who your birth parents are? Yeah, I would like to know who my birth parents are. If I have aunts out there, or sisters or brothers out there, that would be cool.

9:25If I knew, I would just be so happy to meet them and know them better. How do you feel about being adopted? Sometimes I feel like it's hard. Sometimes I feel like it's okay. Because at the same time, they remind me of my birth parents and I can be with them as well too. But it's great to be adopted because now I have this nice family who cares and loves and supports me.

10:01And just seeing the world that I live in, out there, you know, it's just great. Thank you so much for talking with us, Michelle. Our next guest is McCoy, who is 13 years old. Do you have a favorite color? Blue.

10:31What are your favorite movies? The Lord of the Rings, the Star Wars Saga, and Pirates of the Caribbean. And what is your favorite book? I don't have a favorite book. I have a favorite author named Brandon Mull. Tell me about your family, McCoy. I live with my mom and dad and my sister and my grandma and our five cats and our dog.

11:03Five cats and a dog? That sounds awesome. Can you share with us your adoption story? My dad and my mom felt like they need to move out of Oregon. So my dad applied for a job, and he found a bunch of Montana and one out of Montana. So he applied for the job out of Montana, but then they called back and said that he was overqualified. So he took a job for Montana.

11:34And then a couple months later, they were chosen by my birth mom to adopt her child. And my birth mom would only adopt or let someone adopt her child if they lived in Montana. So a couple months later, they're in the hospital when I was born, and when I was a day old, my mom and my dad took me home from the hospital.

12:04I'm so glad that your dad got a job in Montana. What does open adoption mean to you? It means being able to FaceTime my birth mom and my birth stepdad and my half-sister and being able to have a larger family. I have a birth stepdad too. His name is Daniel. How do you feel about being adopted? It's great. I don't really think on an everyday basis. I don't really think, oh, I'm adopted.

12:36It's just me. I'm a normal person, and I'm just a normal kid who is just living with non-biological parents. What is the best part about being adopted? Being able to spend time with more family and being able to have relationships with more family members. What do you wish that other people knew about adoption?

13:09We're just normal people who don't live with our biological parents, and the adults we're living with, our parents, aren't our fake parents. They're our real parents, even though our mother didn't give birth to us. They're still our mom. I love that, and I totally agree. Thank you so much, McCoy, for being on the podcast.

13:44We now get to talk to James. Thanks for being here, James. Can you introduce yourself? My name is James, and I am 13. I'll be 14 in three weeks. Can you tell us some of your favorite things, James? My favorite color is red, and I love a lot of movies, so I can't really pick. And favorite book or book series would probably be like Harry Potter.

14:15I love Harry Potter, too. My favorite book is Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. Is there any place you would like to travel to in the future? Probably to New York to see a Broadway show. I've been to New York. It is so beautiful. You are going to love it. Can you tell me a little bit about your family? I have a mom and a dad, an older sister and a little sister. I like to do gardening with my dad.

14:46We do projects like that all the time. And I like to cook with my mom. We like to cook a lot of things. And I like to play games with my sisters, like any kind of game. Board game, card game, video games. And yeah. I also have three dogs. They are amazing. One of them is having puppies soon. And the other one is just really protective and barks at everything, pretty much.

15:23The other one is just a tiny golden doodle. It's pretty great. And then we have a cat who is like the fluffiest cat you will ever see. And he's pretty great. He comes and chills with me. And my family always comes and supports me and my sister in our sporting events. Like I do baseball and my sister does baseball. My little sister.

15:53And they always support me when I am in our school plays or any plays like that. Because I love to do acting. And yeah. We also hang out in our backyard sometimes. It's pretty great. It sounds like you have a great family, James. Can you share with us your adoption story? My adoption story is my parents had already adopted my older sister.

16:23And they felt like they needed to get a boy in their family. So they were reaching out to a lot of birth parents. And finally my birth mom reached out a few times. And after a while she called them over the phone and asked if they wanted to be my parents.

16:57If they wanted to adopt me. And so they had to go over there because she was in Las Vegas with her brother. She was living with him at the time. They adopted me two days after I was born. But they had to stay up in Las Vegas for a couple more weeks because they couldn't cross state borders unless they got passed by a judge.

17:27Can you tell us what open adoption means to you? Open adoption means that I don't need to like when I'm older like go out and search for my birth parents. Because I already know them and I get to know them for the rest of my life. And that like I can know where I'm from. Like my birth dad is El Salvadorian so if I had a closed adoption I wouldn't really be able to know that.

18:00And like the thing with open adoption is that like it's not just me knowing them. It's them knowing me. Like they get to see me grow up. And like everything that I'm doing and they get to come and see me every now and then. I really like to get to see my birth family too. What's the best part about being adopted? I can't really say there's a best part. There's a lot of best parts. But a few of my best parts of being adopted are probably like giving couples the chance to be parents who can't be parents on their own.

18:43Like having to have like a lot more family. Like not just with my adopted family or birth family. Like my sister's birth family. Like we have a lot of birth family and adopted family. It's pretty great. What do you wish that other people knew about adoption? I wish that other people knew that adoption isn't about like giving up the child.

19:18It's about loving the kid enough that you want him or her to be in a good family that will raise him or her to be the best that he or she can be. Thanks a lot for being on the podcast with us, James.

19:48Our last guest today is Gracie. Hi friend, can you introduce yourself? Hi, my name is Gracie. My favorite color is blue and my favorite movie is Quiet Place. And my favorite book is Allies. A place I want to travel to is the Bahamas. Tell me about your family and what adoption means to you. My parents are Chris and Stacey. What adoption means to me is that you have so much love for a child and that you sacrifice a lot for that child. Can you tell us a little bit about your adoption story?

20:19My birth mother was at the place where you look at people to adopt your child. She couldn't find anyone that was right for me. She was at the desk when she saw this picture of my parents. She said she knew instantly that they were the ones. That's exactly how it happened with me. Then what happened? So my parents got a phone call and went to the place, found out that they were going to adopt me. My parents were the first to hold me. On August 2nd, the adoption was finalized. How does being adopted make you feel, Gracie?

20:50I think it was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. I love adoption. It is a beautiful way for our family to come together. Me too! For me, knowing that my birth mother had every reason to keep me and decided to give me to somebody else because I was made for this family is such a beautiful thing. What's the best part about being adopted? The best part is knowing that two families care about me. I'd say it was kind of like teamwork. My birth mother gave birth to me and my parents get the rest of my life.

21:20What do you wish that other people understood about adoption? I think what people need to understand is that adoption is a good thing and a positive experience. Adoption really is about love. Thanks again for being on the podcast, Gracie. It's been so great to hear from Summer, Michelle, McCoy, James, and Gracie today. Thank you guys for being on the podcast with us. I loved hearing each of your stories. Thanks for listening to this mini episode from the Open Adoption Project.

21:51I look forward to hosting another episode with younger kids. See you next time!

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